does anybody else think tired and sleepy mean two totally different things
sleepy is cute and dozing off and happy but tired is 10 cups of coffee and murder
Synonyms are weird because if you invite someone to your cottage in the forest that just sounds nice and cozy, but if I invite you to my cabin in the woods you’re going to die.
What girls look for in guys
- brown eyes
- messy hair
- cute nose
- 4 paws
- golden retriever
Some guy just whistled at me while driving by and my dad goes “don’t worry, that was for me”
Day 1: you ripped open my vagina and I hate youDay 5: just kidding you’re so cute and soft and small lol I could fit you in a handbagMonth 2: STOP CRYING PLEEEAASE. JUST ONE HOUR OF SLEEP AND I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVERRRRMonth 5: mama? Mama? Mama? Say it? Please? Say something? PleaseMonth 8: IF. YOU. DON’T. STOP. SAYING. MAMA. THE. POLICE. WILL. NEVER. FIND. THE. BODY.Year 1: One down. 17 to go…Year 1, Month 11: oh god.. it’s coming…Year 2: NO PLEASE JUST PUT THAT DOWN. NNOOO! DON’T TOUCH THAT! Baby, i love you no matter whaT BUT PLEASE DON’T TOUCH THAT JJUST STAY STILL PLEASE SWEETHEARTYear 3: Oh thank god that’s overYear 4: Awwww, you went to preschool. isn;t that adorable, my little intellectual shitYear 5: ACTUAL SCHOOL! YOU LEARNED COLORS AND NUMBERS YOU’RE A GENIUS
Year 15: You called me a fuckwit. What the fuck is a fuckwit?
year 16; oh god no LIGHTLY step on the gas NO NON NO NO YOU DONT HAVE TO PRESS THAT HARD ON THE BREAK!!!
year 17: I caught you masturbating but you didn’t notice so I didn’t say anything. You’re welcome.
being “cute” is really hard because even when youre angry people just kinda giggle at you and say “aw youre so cute when youre angry.” no. stop. recognize my power.
best gif use ever
its still fucking adorable